next level wedding ceremony tips
I’ve Seen Hundreds of Weddings, and i’ve seen hundred of couples experience pressure from obligation, and worst of all, regret. not because they did something ‘wrong’, but because the didn’t do what was right for them.
so Here are the biggest wedding mistakes to avoid, plus some game-changing ceremony tips to make your day feel easy, fun, and completely you.
What NOT to Do When Planning Your Wedding
1. Don’t Accept Random Wedding Traditions if they don’t mean anything to you.
We need to talk about the lucky horseshoe trinket. You know the one - it’s lace, probably purchased from a newsagency (so how is it lucky?!), that thing older relatives will literally crowd surf to get to you the second you’re married so that they can hang it on your wrist. unless it’s a family heirloom, make it known you don’t want them near you, and even then they need to wait to give it to you so they don’t ruin your big exit photo.
2. Don’t Have a Bad Backup Plan
This is one of the biggest wedding planning mistakes in Australia. Melbourne weather does not care about your plans, And this applies to heat, rain and possibly the worst one of all, wind. discomfort makes for disengaged guests and a flat atmosphere, so make sure your back up plan is so good that you wouldn’t be unhappy enacting it (read: just as good as your plan a).
3. Don’t Do Things Out of Pressure or Obligation
Weddings are full of traditions, and some people get real attached to them for no other reason that it’s historically what’s been done. i recommend keeping only the traditions that make sense and resonate to you, but feel free to let go of anything that makes you cringe or gives you the ick. for example, You do NOT have to include:
announcing that you are being ‘given away’ (you can have whoever you want escort you down the aisle, but we don’t have to ask ‘who brings this woman to wed this man’)
exchanging personal vows or rings
performing readings
sand or candle ceremonies
saying ‘I do’
printed programs
4. Don’t Invite People Out of Obligation
This one’s hard. I get it. you were invited to their wedding, or you mum has known them for 40 years, or they’re simply a blood relative and therefore must come even though you haven’t seen them in 2 years.
But your guest list shapes your entire day. more people bring more costs, more pressure, more seating plan logistics. ultimately, your wedding should only be people that you feel close to, who you’re happy to shout a meal for, who you feel comfortable being vulnerable around.
mum might be pissed at first, but when it comes down to it, your happiness on your big day is what matters most.
5. Don’t Spend the Day Apart If You Don’t Want To
You don’t have to sleep apart, get ready separately or wait until the aisle moment to see each other. first look opinions aside (of which i am a massive fan, btw). if you want to be together the night before, at breakfast, or all damn day, you can.
6. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Your Vendors
We’ve seen it all. The good. The bad. The chaotic. if you want second, third or tenth opinions, just ask. and then don’t be afraid to do whatever the hell you want anyway! we won’t judge, we’re here to help execute your dreams.
Next-Level Wedding Ceremony Tips (This Is the Good Stuff)
1. Welcome Drinks = Instant Atmosphere.
If your venue allows it, give your guests a drink on arrival. some of these people don’t know each other at all, some of them haven’t seen each other in a long time, and they’ve all been getting ready and travelling to your wedding for hours. let’s get them mingling, break the ice, and lift the energy.
2. Don’t Be Late (Seriously)
weddings are known for ‘running late’, But all this does is leave your guests hanging around wondering if they’ve got time for one more drink or a bathroom break. and anything that impacts the guest experience or comfort impacts the entire event.
pro tip - build a buffer that aims to have you fully ready 30 minutes before you actually need to be. worst case scenario, if something runs late, you’ve got a window to catch up. best case scenario, a little more time to chill before kick off!
3. Be Yourselves (Not a Wedding Version of Yourselves)
If you want to dance down the aisle, do it. if you aren’t overly romantic, don’t force it. if you don’t want a first dance, don’t have one. Authenticity always wins.
4. Give Your Celebrant the Good Stuff
the more open and honest you can be with your celebrant, the better your ceremony will be. And no, it doesn’t need to be an essay, Some of the best ceremonies I’ve written have come from bullet points. it didn’t matter that there wasn’t pages of info, it mattered that the info was quality.
5. Think About Your Ceremony Space
is there space behind you where the person in charge of your rings can stand (so that they don’t stand infront of you and have their back to the crowd and the cameras)?
is there enough room for your wedding party? some areas simply can’t fit 6 people on each side.
6. Skip the Big Group Photo
Controversial… but worth considering. people really don’t enjoy it, they take ages to wrangle, and no one ever prints it. allow time for hugs/kisses/congrats instead, those are some gorgeous shots.
7. But Also… anything for a photo op
i’m a big fan of props - confetti canons, smoke bombs, bubbles, a petal toss. it’s all fun and it’s all good!
8. the mood you bring is contagious
if you show up to your wedding tired, flat, stressed or upset, your guests will feel it and will mirror it back at you. anything you can do to ensure that you arrive rested, relaxed and full of joy should be a priority. every decision will contribute to this, from the vendors you select to whether you have a wedding party, from the theme you want to achieve to the food you want to serve. so it comes back to the same message - curate a wedding that feels like you.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, there are no rules, no right or wrong, only what aligns for you. And if you get that right? Everything else falls into place.