the ultimate guide to wedding receptions
Your ceremony sets the tone… But your reception is where the party lives or dies. with proper forethought and planning, we can avoid things getting derailed and make sure your wedding goes down as the ‘best night ever’.
Wedding Speeches: How to Make Them Actually Good
First Things First: You Don’t Owe Anyone a Speech Slot. Traditionally, you’ll see:
parents
best person
person of honour
the couple
But truthfully, Titles don’t equal speaking ability. if you can, choose people who are comfortable with public speaking, will be engaging, and won’t waffle on for 20 minutes. you might consider a sibling instead of a parent, or a friend who isn’t in an ‘official’ role.
how long should a speech be?
The Ideal Wedding Speech Length is always going to be on the shorter side. whether you’ve been able to select some legends or feel you must go with the ‘traditional/official’ people, there are some ways you can keep things from dragging.
My rule is aim for 3 minutes, knowing that it will likely stretch to 5 minutes. add this up across a minimum of 5 speeches, and you’re already nearing half an hour - right around the time people truly zone out and lose the party energy.
the best way to keep people within the time limit is to give them a word count. you can read your speech out loud a thousand times and it will never be the same experience as actually performing it in front of a crowd. trust me, 400-500 words will result in a 3-4 minute speech, without pauses for laughter/tears or taking a breath.
What Should Wedding Speeches Include?
Give your speakers a framework so they don’t panic (or ramble), and remember that your celebrant is going to recount your couple story at the ceremony - i can’t tell you how many parents have told me that i ‘stole their speech’! um, no honey, i did my job, sorry not sorry!
here’s a guide for safe speech structure:
How you came into their lives
A story that showcases who you are at your core
Their first impression of your partner
A moment that reflects your relationship
What they love about you individually
What they love about you as a couple
Their wishes for your future
even if every single speaker uses the same structure, the content will be different as they will each have their own perspective. trust me, this never fails!
Your Speech
No pressure… but yours is the closer, the big finish.
let’s start with the good news: you don’t have to thank all of your vendors. don’t get me wrong, we love being thanked, but most of your journey with us is not shared with all of your guests, so this is valuable time you could be spending on more engaging content. if you’re worried about being rude, just a quick general thank you to all of the talented vendors that made this possible is enough… and then please take the time to leave us glowing google reviews and tag us all over social media instead!
for you, better to cover these topics:
thank people who travelled or went to great efforts to attend
thank any guests who helped specifically with the wedding in any way
if you have a wedding party, thank them (everyone at once in general or individually for specific contributions and special efforts)
thank your parents (especially if they helped with anything or contributed financially)
thank your partners parents/siblings/etc for welcoming you into their family
shower your new spouse with love and speak of how happy you are to be married
tell everyone to get their party on!
Wedding Reception Tips That Actually Change the Game
1. Timing Matters More Than You Think
Don’t be late (yes, again), And don’t stack all your formalities together. Too many speeches in one block = guest fatigue, so try to break them up into at least 2 groups: round 1 is for parents, round 2 is for people of honour + the newlyweds, or you can put the newlyweds into round 3 if time allows.
2. Do Your Seating Chart Alphabetically
when you group the table numbers together and list the names underneath, it takes forever for everyone to find their names. instead, list everyone alphabetically so they can quickly scan, and put their table number next to their name.
3. Consider Skipping the Cake Cutting
Hot take… but hear me out. Historically? Weird origins. Modern day? Often unnecessary. Ask yourself if you would ever frame or post that photo, and if it’s a no, then maybe don’t bother. your photographer will still capture the details of the day and that will include the cake, but if you really want to cut it, it takes 5 seconds and isn’t a big deal to keep it in if you want. just do it as soon as you are introduced into the reception so that your venue/caterer can pop it in the coolroom and cut it up when the time comes.
4. Feed Your Vendors First (Trust Me)
this is actually so important, and it’s actually so sad that venues and caterers are so slow to get on board. vendors should be fed at the same time as the newlyweds, to ensure that they are done in time to take care of the next item.
when vendors are fed last, the newlyweds have finished eating, and we might have to skip dinner in order to keep the runsheet on track (sunset doesn’t wait). your team will be forever grateful if you could ask your venue/caterer to take care of them as a priority.
5. Break Up Your Formalities
all of the speeches at once is too much for any audience. breaking them up is definitely a smart move, and you can also sprinkle through some games or other activities to keep people pumped:
photo dash
photobooth sessions
pass around the audio guest book
scavenger hunt
trivia game
show game
6. ‘Your’ First Dance is not ‘the’ first dance
when you dance for the first time as a married couple, it shouldn’t be the first dance of the reception. confusing I know, but what i mean is that it should be the absolute final formality of the night, the thing that kicks off the dance floor to be free of interruptions for the rest of the night.
why? it’s seamless. we get everyone up to watch you, then we transition into a banger. they want to celebrate with you, you’re all already on the dance floor, it just works.
7. if any traditions need to die, it’s the bouquet and garter toss
i can’t tell you the last time i even saw these included in a wedding reception. they’re just unnecessary, maybe even a little cringe when you look up their origins. at a time of the night when everyone is a little sauced, it’s an element of chaos that you don’t need to manage.
8. Plan for Sunset and Night Photos
Non-negotiable (if weather allows), these shoots are where the magic truly lies. not to mention you will probably welcome a little alone time together in the middle of a huge day/night.
Final Thoughts
Your reception doesn’t need to be overloaded, it just needs to be intentional, well thought-out, with good flow and good energy.